"you’re gonna be home alone for a bit"
uhhh... i guess you could say this is an average blog but then id be lying to you and i would never lie to my internet friends <3
so this past weekend i did a 24 hour harry potter marathon with my friend and oh…my…god. i used to laugh at the idea of harry potter but oMG IT IS THE BEST THING EVER :********************D harry freakin potter. i dont really even know how i feel i just feel the feels. like whattt. i just cant wrap my mind around the idea of it being over.
you know what just for fun read all the italics in morgan freemans voice. ready ok go
ok so now for regular content. this ones all about LIES
now my buttercups there are 3 types of lies
white lies (like lies to a friend)
DUN DUN DUN LIES TO MAKE SOMEBODY JEALOUS
now white lies could be like a friend asking you if they left their favorite shirt at your house and your cat peed on it and you gave it back to them and they were like “dude theres cat piss on it!!” you just say “no..that was YOUR CAT” very convincingly and i garuntee you there gonna be like “ok!!” and shit rainbows and sparkles because your white lie didnt harm anyone!!
dirty lies are simply when you try to get out of something by lying to that person (dont confuse this with the white lie snuggle bug these ones can back fire) if your friend wants to borrow some money a dirty lie you could tell is sorry my cat pissed on my shirt and i have to get it drycleaned. i dont have any money left” now be prepared for answers like “uhh you dont have a cat.” though this may be true you just say “yes..YES I DO” and once again you are saved by being so convincing! but instead of rainbows and sparkles your friend shits sugar and flowers cause yeah your lie was good but you were cutting it a little close!!
now….the worst type of lie……..
i knew this one girl who would always do this youd be all excited about something and theyd lie about either having the same thing or something better to make themselves feel better! and you could obviously tell the bitch was lying!! i would say “guys! my new boots came in!” and this little hoe face would be like “oh…well i already got those but i thought they were too flashy so i returned them and got different ones.” BTW THIS BITCH WAS 2 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME AND SHES TRYING TO FUCKING TALK DOWN TO ME LIKE BITCH GROW FIRST AND THEN WE CAN TALK LIKE BYE. now dont be THAT girl guys!! go apeshit using the other lies but c’mon not this one!! youre so much better than that sugarplum.
well i think thats all for now my friends!!! <33333
ok so this edition of my rants is kind of a self help one i guess???? its about the importance of sharing or in some way getting out your emotions! and if any of you knew me personally im one of the most stubborn people ever and i dont share for shit. like all of the sudden “gone gone gone” by phillip phillips comes on and im balwing my eyes out and people are like “OMG ARE YOU OK?!?!” and im all “im fine i dont wanna fucking talk about it!” :) dont i just sound like a joy?! <3
but for my other stubborn internet friends hopefully you can relate and i hope some of you do! and if your having trouble take some of my ideas!! there here for help my dudes!! and dudettes i dont descriminate here <3
ok sooooo go!
#1 keep a journal: i keep a journal and its not a diary (if you want to use it like a diary go fucking nuts! diary the shit out of it!!) all i use my journal for is literally writing! i open that baby up and literally just let the pen roll! *maybe at the end of this ill include an exerpt from my journal??* youd be surprised how much just writing helps!!
#2 obiv MUSIC. THE BEST MEDICINE!! unless you like have the flu…then like flu shots and ibuprofen would be the best?? but anyways! I BLAST THAT SHIT ON MY SURROUND SOUND AND LOSE MY SELF IN MUSIC LAND!!! sure you might come out of it with a slight headache but who cares!! mentally yopu feel better! you sing your little heart out!! i glee that shit up i pretend im fucking rachel and go ape shit.
#3 sleep. its like the “try turning it off and on again” for humans! (no i did not make that up; ifunny my dear watson)
#4 criminal minds/ supernatural. its weird but you can just interject yourself into the problems of the b.a.u/ sam and dean for an hour!! kinda cool!!! (i wouldnt mind interjecting myself with sam and dean if ya know what i mean *wink wink* oh my god so innapropriate)
#5 readdddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its amazing! one second youre in your house then you open a book and youre sitting with anabeth and percy at camp halfblood (for like 2 secs until so crazy shit happens)
#6 tumblr!!! obviiiiiii its great this website is like a drug!!!! <333333
well thats all for now my internet friends!!!<33333
(oh yeah the journal exerpt!! *italics is the journal*)
this isnt really about anything right now. sometimes its just good to feel a pen scribble across a notebook. i should probably start reading “the lost hero” again but its just so hard to pick up a book again. once i get into it i know ill like it again. i think im gonna start reading “theres more to life than this” by theresa caputo. i can scribble all over it and highlight what speaks out to me
it goes on but you guys get the idea!!! its kinda just to organize your thoughts and write down some shit. you can vent or not vent whatever works for you guys you stick with it!!
until next time guys!!!!
ok so i know i said id blog on sunday nights but disregard that. i have no schedule at all. im so disorganized and i apologize!! but my stomach is killing me and im starving but whenever i eat it comes out the other end if ya know what i mean.. (sorry for that visual :/) but whats a sure fire way to keep your mind off food?! MUSIC, ITUNES, AND TUMBLR OFCOURSE!!!
so ive been thinking about blogging this issue for a while but it might be a little awkward??? anyways here we go:
so ive been told more than a couple of times i have a rather large behind. now most people think there are only good things to having a big ass. THOSE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING WRONG. here are a few examples of proving them wrong:
1. im extremely self consious when i stand up because im afriad people are just gonna stare (my friend caught like a 30 year old guy staring i swear on my life im not making that up)
2. wearing yoga pants or leggings is SOO AWKWARD once again with the slef consious thingy
3. i work with little kids over the summer and my boss has a big butt too and all they do to us is just friggin hold on to out butts like its the only thing keeping them alive…like little boy i promise you if you let go you wont die…
4. SOMEBODY FRIGGIN GRABBED IT IN THE HALLWAY AT SCHOOL. LIKE WTF. I DIDNT KNOW THE KID EITHER HE JUST GRABBED IT AND KEPT WALKING. WTFFFFFFFFFF
5. even my family memebers comment on it. at family parties thats so friggin awkward. ITS AWKWARD ANYWHERE
6. jeans never fit
7. im a white girl so the ratches in my classes have said to me “damn she got the booty for a white gurl”
8. MY SISTERS BOY FRIEND AND FRIEND HAVE COMMENTED ON IT
im not trying to brag in any way, shape, or form you guys. im just trying to explain how it is for me and my other big booty bitches out there.
so if you have a small ass embrace it! and if you have a big ass embrace it! if you have a medium ass GUESS WHAT! EMBRACE THAT SHIT!!
no matter what we look like we are perfect. i love you my internet friends <3
white people things
- the macarena
- the YMCA song
- erectile dysfunction commercials
- jc penney
- country clubs
- mini golf
- the chacha slide
will add more over time
- private school
- things being too spicy
- breaking iphones
- country music
as i white person i can validate how accurate this is
Dad said if this gets 600,000 notes I can get a American Eskimo Puppy like this one
I always wanted a dog. Please he doesn’t think its possible even though the chicken thing happened He has money saved and is more than willing if it happens.
bitch were getting you a puppy ok